In all my anticipation for Easter and the end of Lent I seem to have overlooked one important detail: What is life going to be like for me when my Lenten Ramadan is over? I really had not given it much thought until I met with my spiritual director today and he asked me that very question. It dawned on me that I really need to seriously be making a plan.
I have heard it said that it takes something like three weeks to break a habit. Well, Lent is over twice that long, making me wonder how long it takes to start a new habit and if my various new routines these past five weeks are bordering on habitual. I have written a great deal about how this entire experience has been very meaningful to me. Gratitude, simplicity, prayer and awareness of things beyond my nose have all revealed themselves as significant lessons. What I had not really considered is . . . what next?
Trust me, I am not worried that I will have forgotten how to eat lunch. I will welcome that habit back with open arms! What I am wondering about is how I can maintain the routine of prayer that I have established and which I have found to be both valuable and necessary. I always used to think that the morning was the best time for me to pray . . . the house is quiet, the day is fresh, a time to focus before the craziness starts. But the problem with early morning prayer is that I’m not quite awake yet, there is too much activity looming on the horizon and, quite honestly, I need my sleep and my day starts early enough as it is. To actually get out of bed, fully wake up and center myself for prayer, I’d have to wake up at 4:30am . . . and that ain’t gonna happen. Evenings are generally a train wreck as far as prayer is concerned. I am exhausted from the day, have dinner to prepare, need to spend time with Brandi and the boys, have school work to do . . it’s just not very conducive for prayer either.
What I have really enjoyed and what has been really productive for me in prayer this Lent has been this middle of the day time that has carved itself out due to the fasting. By noon my day has hit a rhythm, I am alert and things have already happened that give me pause and provide fodder for thought and prayer. The problem is, after Easter I am going to resume eating lunch with my colleagues and this chunk of time will no longer be available to me. There is some time here and there throughout the day but I typically use it for lesson planning and other school related business.
So from my vantage point it boils down to this: something has to give. It might be rising earlier, staying up later or squeezing out some time midday. I am not sure right now which one of those "somethings" it's going to be, but whatever it is, it will require sacrifice of time and discipline; two areas I think I have learned a lot about these past five weeks.
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