Day 26: A Mini-Easter

Tears welled up in my eyes as I proceeded up the aisle to receive the Eucharist on this Fourth Sunday of Lent.  Although I have received the Sacrament countless times, today it was different; today our oldest son Aidan made his First Communion.  

There were many things that made this day and this weekend special. Because of Aidan's big day we had a small contingency of family spending the weekend with us.  It was a real blessing to spend time with people who mean so much to us, although Saturday evening posed a bit of a challenge.  We hosted a small get-together for dinner at 6:00pm and, needless to say, this came with another one hour and forty-nine minutes until sunset.  Once everyone had their food on their plates (featuring barbecue pulled-pork sandwiches which I had smoked on Friday and the aroma of which had been wafting from the oven all day Saturday) I had every intention of slipping away to the living room to watch the Final Four while everyone ate.  If the food is out of sight, I thought, it would also be out of mind.  Brandi, however, was not about to let me get away with this.  She gave me an "Oh no you don't" kind of look and pulled up another chair to the table.  She was right.  My Lenten Ramadan was my choice and I had previously committed to not letting myself be anti-social while others ate.  Everyone at the table was very understanding and supportive as they asked a few questions about how Lent was going. Admittedly, I felt a bit awkward.  I find it easier to talk about my fast outside of meal time.  I am sure it is just a case of being overly self-conscious (there's that darned ego again) but I sometimes feel like everyone is looking at me while they eat.  Or perhaps they are the ones who feel uncomfortable, like animals in a zoo whose every move is being watched by the weird guy over there.

For many reasons today felt like a glimpse of the Easter to come. Right smack dab in the middle of Lent there was this celebration . . . the joyous event of a First Communion, a church packed with the families of eighty-four second graders, loved ones visiting from out of town, good food and lots of laughter. And because today was Sunday, I was not fasting.  I had been looking forward to today for all the reasons listed above and the day did not disappoint.  It was almost odd how not fasting became a spiritual experience for me today.  I was aware of everything I ate throughout the day, gave thanks for what I ate and was surprised at how little I actually did eat.  Sure, we had a hearty breakfast and we went out to dinner in the evening, but in between there was no grazing or snacking and I was content with that.  To be honest, I was just happy to eat at 9:00am and 6:00pm today . . . it felt much more natural to eat between sunrise and sunset and I was very grateful for this return to normalcy, if only for a day.

Aidan had been a difficult read heading into today.  He tends to be somewhat guarded in his emotions and he seemed rather non-plussed by the proceedings.  We couldn't tell if he was excited, bored or indifferent about First Communion.  But I think he let his true feelings show in a very subtle way. As a gift from my mother-in-law he received a rosary and a small prayer book and he was absolutely mesmerized by these things.  He loves to read and multiple times throughout the day we caught glimpses of him reading from his little book about how to pray the rosary, the parts of the Mass or some other prayers.  It made me smile each time.  For as big as he is getting he is still curious and innocent, warm-hearted and trusting.  He is still my little boy.

On the car ride home from dinner tonight, as the four of us talked about the day, I was graced with this overwhelming sense of contentment.  Riding along with me in that four-wheeled hunk of metal were the three people in this world who mean the most to me and to whom I have been given the greatest responsibility.  Through these three people God has blessed me with the greatest joys I have ever known. There was a moment of silence along the way (one of the few such moments all weekend) and Brandi and I almost simultaneously said aloud, "I love my family."

So that was my "mini-Easter."  A day of celebration and joy and a foreshadowing of a Sunday three weeks from now when "Alleluias" will ring out and life will begin anew.  I give thanks to God for this Lenten journey and how it has filled my heart with gratitude for the often overlooked little things in life.