What a wonderful opportunity for reflection today as the Ignatian Associate community of Omaha gathered for our annual Lenten retreat. The setting could not have been more beautiful at the rural retreat center where we spent the day in prayer, reflection and conversation. There was much that was fruitful from this experience and I imagine that as the week progresses the events of today will play a role in my continued journey this week.
In the morning we had some free time and I chose to go for a walk in the woods. The air was cool in a late autumn sort of way and the remnants of yesterday's snow coated the cedars and the forest floor, where slight glimpses of new green could be seen gingerly poking their way through last year's oak leaves and the March snowfall. It was quiet and peaceful and just what I needed to center myself. As I climbed over fallen tree trunks and attempted to maintain my balance on the banks of the hollow, I paused from time to time to listen to the birds and watch for signs of life. After continuing on after one such rest I was startled by the rustling of leaves. I looked up to see three deer quickly bound up the hill and out of sight. They had been not ten yards ahead of me! Had I been looking up as I walked I may have seen them and been able to stop and enjoy their foraging. But I was looking down.
I am always looking down.
When skiing two weeks ago, I noticed that nearly every fall (and there were many) invariably resulted from looking down at my feet. When I walk I often find myself staring down at my size thirteen shoes. I don't know why. Am I looking for holes in the ground that may cause a twisted ankle? Am I hanging my head in some subconscious self-deprecation? Am I so focused on myself that I literally cannot see the forest for the trees? Whatever the cause, my looking down blinds me to the many mysteries that a simple upward gaze would bring. I missed the beauty of the deer because I had my head buried in the leaves. I had found an answer . . . start looking up!
So I started to look up figuring that it would take me beyond myself and toward the Other.
Later in the morning I once again had time for a walk and I headed back to the same area with the intent of, this time, looking up that I might be better prepared to catch the deer again. I saw something, or rather someone, ahead of me. It wasn't a deer but rather my best bud Tom. The two of us began to stroll through the woods together. Tom is an avid hunter and nature enthusiast. As we walked he excitedly talked about the many deer tracks he had seen, the turkey feathers he stumbled upon, the large quantities of acorns on the forest floor, the vast abundance of "rubs" where bucks had used their antlers to leave their marks on small trees. Then it struck me . . . everything he had seen were things that could be found by looking down. "But," I thought to myself, "I'm supposed to be looking up!"
The Buddha taught that in life there is a "Middle Way" . . . a path between the extremes of indulgence and asceticism where the truth and fulfillment exist. At today's retreat our director utilized to great success the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) where the truth lay somewhere between the two extremes of the son who squandered all and the son who played by the rules.
So maybe I should look up more. But I shouldn't abandon looking down either. God is to be found in all places and things . . . if only I can take advantage of the grace filled opportunities to see that which is above and below me, behind and before me, within and without me.
Practical notes:
- "The King's Speech": Brandi and I finally had the chance to catch this movie last night and enjoyed it immensely. (Brandi pointed out after today's retreat that it was, in some ways, a Prodigal Son sort of story itself.) Since the movie started at 6:30, I knew I would be in the theater at sundown. I snuck in some dates and almonds, set the alarm on my phone to 7:42 (on vibrate, of course) and broke my fast about the time that Bertie and Lionel "broke up" in the park. Brandi was kind enough to save some popcorn and diet Coke for me too.
- 15 for 15. No, I'm not talking about Virginia Commonwealth's hot shooting or Butler's three-point stats. The question has been asked a couple times if I have messed up yet and eaten before sundown. So far, of the 15 days that I have attempted to fast I have been able to do so. I am getting used to the routine of doing this every day but am wondering if it will grow too monotonous by the time Holy Week finally rolls around.
- Developing story . . . Today's retreat left me with the feeling that, in many ways, my Lenten Ramadan is the most intense and prolonged spiritual experience I have ever had. Every day is an adventure and each moment is a gift. More to come . . .
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